I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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