I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
