He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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