i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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