Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize