Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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