Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize