How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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