he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
