can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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