He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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