I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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