You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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