Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
