You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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