Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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