Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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