Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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