Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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