some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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