so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize