he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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