She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize