You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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