I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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