you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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