Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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