good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
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while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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