Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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