She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
