also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
