I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.