I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.