But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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