I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
