I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize