If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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