Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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