Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
In America we eat man semen.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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