so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
