Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Someone shattered a urinal.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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