Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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