He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize