Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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