What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
