ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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