I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
