when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize