I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
