Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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