Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
