I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize