I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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