porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
