I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
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I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
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Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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