Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
