mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
