he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
