You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
